Un regard, une étreinte, un touché, un baiser,
Des paroles et des gestes d’amour toute l’année ;
Bien plus que des chocolats ou quelques fleurs à la St-Valentin,
Ce sont ces gestes qui ravivent l’amour, chaque matin
Chaque jour, chaque soir et pour toujours
C’est ça le secret d’un éternel amour.
~ Nadia Price, mariée depuis 10 ans
It does not quite rhyme I know… I am no poet, just a translator-interpreter-blogger. However, on Valentine’s Day, I wanted to share the key to everlasting love ♥, in my book.
I find today a cute holiday for new lovers, young daters or school-kids. But for us: in public it is a commercial holiday we don’t want any part of; in private just another blissful day in marriage
(and sometimes a challenging adventure). I mean, I would never expect my independent-thinker, liberal/ libertarian (depending which continent you come from), South Carolinian but multilingual “rebel”, “crowd-phobic” husband to follow the pressures of society (and especially Hallmark marketing) to buy a rose and a card, and take me out to dinner along with thousands of other couples on this one day? Well, it is fine of course if you enjoy it, if it is an excuse to finally hire a babysitter and have a little overdue romance, if you get a great deal on something you wanted to do together anyway… but for us, it is fake and boring.
But even if tomorrow is just another day, I know my husband loves me more than I could ever ask for. The daily acts of commitment, the loving words, the support, the unwavering dedication to a successful relationship in which we are both fulfilled. And sometimes, it does include a surprise bouquet, secret destination for our date or special gift; but mostly, it is the everyday gestures that really count.
// un geste d’amour (envers qn) // masculine noun/ expression: a gesture of love (towards sby) ♥
And today’s mot du bonjour and advice is coming from an expert… As a matter of fact, we beat the statistics: 2 out of 3 couples who get married under 35, get divorced within 5 years. I was 20, he was 23, when we got married 10 years ago. And that is because we learned to fight the challenges life deals us together, not against each other.
« Aimer, ce n’est pas se regarder l’un l’autre, c’est regarder ensemble dans la même direction ».
~ Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
We try to remember to speak each other’s love languages, in addition to each other’s spoken languages. We have actually switched to French as our home language last year, and it was an interesting extra challenge at first… We were so used to arguing in English, a great way to remember to think before speaking! And finally, if you speak in the language of love, how could you argue anyway?
« Je t’aime, chéri ! » ♥ « Mon Cœur » ♥ « Mon amour »
« Tu es la personne la plus importante dans ma vie »
« Il n’y a que toi qui compte vraiment sur cette terre » « Heureusement que tu es là pour moi, que ferais-je sans toi ? »
So on Valentine’s day, I want to encourage you, dear readers, to make a yearly commitment to integrate more “gestes d’amour” in your daily life. Whether these gestures are towards your spouse/ partner, your children, your parents, your friends or your neighbors, they all count, and they show how much you care about them.